I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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