i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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