we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
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Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
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