Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
