And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
