You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Randomize
