I think I died a long time ago.
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
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