Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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