what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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