Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
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