if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Randomize
