Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I'm just crazy horny about you
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
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