I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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