I accidentally burped into my bong.
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Randomize
