even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
