I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
