well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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