Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
