Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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