You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
