Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
