whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
