my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
