Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Randomize
