Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(773): View more from Illinois

Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper

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(314): View more from Missouri

i don't want you to think of me as your TA

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(213): View more from California

I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.

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(561): View more from Florida

I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date

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(503): View more from Oregon

Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!

(503): View more from Oregon

Not okay.

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(+61): View more from Australia

Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw

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(816): View more from Missouri

Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time

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(585): View more from New York

I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME

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(404): View more from Georgia

Are you texting me while pooping again?

(770): View more from Georgia

I'm also playing fetch with the dog

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