I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Randomize
