Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
