the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
