ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize