? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
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