return my video game
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
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