you guys were way drunker than both of me
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
