i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
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