he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
It's blow job season.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
