I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
