...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Randomize
