I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Where are you?
In a non slutty way
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize
