the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
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