Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
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