I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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