So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
