i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
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