addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Randomize
