dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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