Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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