Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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