I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
