I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Randomize
