we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
