don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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