I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Randomize
