If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
