these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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