I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Randomize
